(From F Paulos) – A client of mine claimed he broke his arm cycling to work when taking a shortcut through a farm: “I came around a corner and was run off the road by a herd of guinea pigs…” (The farmer verified the claimant’s story. Apparently the farmer’s daughters’ pets had escaped and multiplied into plague proportions.)
(From A Reineri) – Extract from office worker’s compensation claim form:
Agent of the injury: Drawer
How did accident occur: Drawer fell out and landed on my foot
Where was claimant injured: Foot
(From M Radbill) – Years ago, my husband was driving the kids to preschool in our rural neighborhood. Out of nowhere a ten point buck [a very big deer] leapt out of the side bushes and smashed into the car. Luckily the only injuries were to the car. When the insurance company was called to file the claim, they wanted to know if the buck’s feet were ON the ground or OFF the ground when it hit the car. “Why?” I asked. They said this would determine whether the claim was covered or not. I asked which one was covered. You can guess the rest, but I still wonder who is looking at feet when you are being charged by a huge animal! (Incidentally, feet ON the ground was covered. Their logic was seemingly that the car was hit by something, rather than vice-versa, if that makes sense. And for those who don’t know, a ‘ten point buck’ refers to a big male deer with ten points, or tines, on its antlers.)
(From A Whittingham) – I was reminded of one I read when working for a plumbing firm many years ago. A lady had claimed for a leaking toilet and had sent in the form like this: “The leaking toilet is reached through my back passage, but please tell the plumbers when they arrive that they must knock on the front door as my back passage is blocked with the things out of the toilet..”
(From P Clough) – I once made a claim due to a broken washing machine. I put a load of washing on before going away for the weekend. On my return I found it to be stuck in a boiling cycle and my whole kitchen was nigh on destroyed by the steam. When I made a claim through my broker to the insurance company it was denied as I was not insured for steam damage! My broker quickly pointed out that water is H2O and the same chemical compound as steam! They were not having it. The judge, in the small claims court, did not even allow the insurance company’s counsel to speak. He took two minutes to read out the case, laughed and said “Water is H2O as is steam – case for the plaintiff.” The claim was swiftly settled by an embarrassed insurance company.
(From Angela K) – When I worked in personnel at an airline I handled claims for processing. I received the following explanation from the catering department: “Burned elbow while putting tongue into pot”. Apparently the fellow was in the process of cooking tongue, which is then sliced for sandwiches. This was approximately 1960 when airlines had cooking facilities in the hangars.